#Introduction

I write to you from the Philippines, twelve thousand kilometers (12 megameters?) away from home. My end of the year week has been a lot more eventful than previous ones, and a lot warmer. Something I didn’t think about when planning this trip was how much I’d miss the brisk cold air. It’s not Christmas, and it’s certainly not New Year’s without it. Standing in the cold in the middle of a wide boulevard is how my brain knows it’s time to say goodbye to the year. I’ll make do though, and I’ll get enough cold air when I get home.

My Year

If I were to describe how this year went for myself in one word, it would be, bizarrely, “uneventful”.

I started the year off with COVID-19, apparently having caught it during New Year celebrations. As soon as I recovered and quarantined, I headed east to see my partner in Texas, Violet, who’d been stationed on the border by the Texas National Guard.

The original plan was that I’d drive down to Texas to pick them up, then drive back up to San Jose for Further Confusion and to pick up Khromatic. Further Confusion was canceled last-minute due to an Omicron outbreak. At least, I think it was Omicron. We still went up to bring Khromatic back to Las Vegas. The war in Ukraine hadn’t started yet, so gasoline was still cheap at least.

On the way I listened to the Good Omens audiobook (great book btw), got in an argument with Violet over the limits of the triad, stayed in a sketchy motel in Phoenix that only took cash for some reason, and stayed in a really nice hotel in San Jose for basically the same price as the one in Phoenix.

The school year started immediately after, Violet flew back to Texas (once again, f*ck Governor Abbott), and I fell into the routine of school, work, and spending as much time as I could with Khromatic. February 4th to February 6th was Sin City Murr Con. Finally, after two years of delays, the NSFW con was going to happen. I didn’t go since I had work, and also:

but I did drop off a friend and catch a bit of the action from the lobby. Hearing hints of disorder surrounding a second year at the con, and watching the con fall apart online, was also entertaining.

February 25th to February 27th was LVL UP Expo, the first since before the pandemic. I was really excited and even got Khromatic to volunteer. It was a blast being able to contribute to the kind of energy that a convention like LVL UP can create!

Rest of the Spring was uneventful, aside from my continued inability to do homework. Also, a really dramatic student body president’s race.

In May, I visited Violet in Laredo.

In June, for reasons I don’t want to get into, I got a demotion at my second non-university job, which sent me into a really bad depressive spiral. I already resented them for passing over giving me an opportunity to make a lot of money back in 2020. Money which I felt like could’ve been used to start a furry convention in Las Vegas. Now that SCMC had been put into limbo and COVID-19 cases were declining, now was a great time to start a convention. It’s not as if I the money

Then I spoke with some friends and realized that I didn’t need the money to start a convention. Doing the math, I had just enough money to get us off the ground, at least for a smaller event like we expected from a first-year con.

So I did.

I found people who wanted to work on the project, began drafting organizational bylaws, started work on the articles of incorporation, and sent out a request for proposal.

In July, I went to the Atomic Testing Museum for the first time in a while. Also around this time, I just stopped wearing masks at work. Like half the population had already stopped, COVID-19 cases were way down, and since it was summer and my first job was at the university, there weren’t that many people to keep in contact with. At the same time, I continued negotiations with the venue over email.

In August, I signed the contract and we publicly announced Las Vegas Fur Con.

Violet finally came home in September. We went to the Pride Festival in October but otherwise had a pretty uneventful month as we settled into things. I did have a nice small birthday party though.

I had another depressive spiral after midterms, wherein I had an existential crisis about what I wanted to do with my life.

I volunteered for Sin City Anime in November. Khromatic, Violet, and I had a room at the hotel.

In December, after a couple years of bad timing, I finally got to bring my partners to Magical Forest for Christmas. It was nice.

Right before finals I fell into another depressive spiral after a really traumatic event that I also don’t want to get into.

And now I’m in the Philippines after four years since my last trip.

Conclusion

Like 2020 and 2021, I feel like I haven’t done much of worth. I spent most of it depressed and with no energy to do more than watch YouTube. This year I think I suffered from more depressive spirals and extreme existential crises than usual though. I am seeing a therapist for anyone who’s worried, but I am still clearly lacking something.

At least with COVID-19, I think we’ve finally returned to “normalcy”. Whether we should be in a state of “normalcy” is a topic for epidemiologists to debate, but as I see it, everything concerning lockdowns is back to where it was in 2019.

Last year, my New Year’s Resolution was to make something. In some respect, I failed, since what I intended was to draw, write, and share what I created with others. I didn’t do any of that. Arguably I didn’t even try. At the same time, I succeeded, because instead, I helped to set in motion, helped to create, a locals-run fur con in Las Vegas, a dream I’ve had for years.

This year, my New Year’s Resolution is to form connections. That’s definitely been an area where I’ve been severely lacking. Even after the lockdowns, I found myself unable or unwilling to get myself out there and talk to people, even online. At least partially because of the pandemic, I feel a lot more cynical and isolated. I don’t know if this is the solution, but I do know that, as much as I love my partners, I’ve been so reluctant to do so much and oftentimes have found myself so angry at people, and for what? I worry that I’m becoming a bitter old shut-in.

As I said last year, the theme for 2023, as it was in 2022 and as it should be for every year, is to build a better world for all. Make the world better, even if perfection is impossible, because the world can get better and already has.

Happy New Year.